Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My 15 Favorite Simpsons Characters

Recently I've been going through all of the seasons of The Simpsons and there are a lot of characters that I highly enjoy. Well, here is my top 15 Simpsons characters.

15.Colonel Tex O'Hara AKA The Rich Texan
I enjoy the character pretty much because every sentence ends with YEE-HAAW followed by emptying the chambers of his two pistols in the air. Not thrilled about the Republican stuff (the show portrays them as very evil people) But he is an incredibly entertaining character to watch.

"Son I'm glad I made the list and as a thank you gift, I'M GONNA DRILL FOR OIL IN YOUR STATE YEE HAW!" *unloads guns in the air*

#14 Moe Szyslak
Local bartender type. Unlucky in love. Often mistaken for various things such as a troll, goblin, weasel or the like. The best bits are when Bart prank calls Moe and Moe falls for it every time. I also enjoy the fact that despite his huge crush on Marge (that goes so far as to him showing up at Homer's house whenever the two have a falling out in hopes of getting Marge) he always calls her 'Midge'. Things just never work out for him but he is interesting to watch.
"Hello I'm calling for Lord last name Naseby"
"Oh no ya don't I ain't fallin' for one of those tricks again"
*dial tone*
"... I really was"

#13 Superintendent Gary Chalmers
Coming in at #13 we have superintendent Chalmurs. oops I misspelled that it's really...uh-oh, too late
"Ah Superintendent Chalmers I didn't mean to misspell your name I uh he-he...well, I have you on this list of the best characters sir"
"I'm well aware of that Naseby. Now if you'll excuse me I have to inspect SKIIINEEEER's madhouse he calls a school. I'm sure to be disappointed by SKIIINNNEERR's lack of control"
"he-eh right sir"
Well, the bits between Chalmers and Skinner are the best with this character. I love that no matter the context, he is always yelling Skinner's name.

#12 Nedward "Ned" Flanders Jr.
"Well Howdilly doodilly Lord Nasebe-rino I see I'm on the list and I'm honored but you shouldn't call yourself Lord Naseby because the only Lord around here is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ"
"right, right, Shut up Flanders"
"Okelly Dokelly"
Ned Flanders, the single most recognized Evangelical Christian in the world. His nonsensical words like Diddly in his sentences make his character enjoyable. He is also the Devil in the Treehouse of Horror episodes (It's always the one you least expect). His unconditional liking of the Simpsons family even when confronted with Homer's hatred of him (what you think I invented the phrase "Shut up Flanders" just for this blog)? His theology is sometimes questionable but he is easily one of the best characters on the show.

#11. Melvin "Sideshow Mel" Van Horne  Despite the fact that he used the slide whistle as a form of communication in the early years, he never really does it now and instead speaks in a grandiose Shakespearean accent. He is usually the one who gets the mob going whenever the Springfieldians are angry about something. A much more faithful sidekick than Sideshow Bob. I like him because of his accent mainly and how he is easily one of the most intelligent characters on the show but you rarely see that because of how dominant Krusty is.

"Look!!! The blog is not yet finished!!! who shall come next in this struggle for popularity in this one man's eyes!!?!?"
"Uh...well Melvin I suppose you'll just have to scroll down and find out"
"To the middle mouse button!!!"
"Right. Okay"

#10. Charles Montgomery Plantagenet Shicklgruber "Monty" Burns/Waylon Smithers Jr.
I decided to do them both in one spot because they really are a pair and you don't really get one without the other (most of the time plus I only have 15 spots). I really enjoy seeing the chemistry between these two. Smithers is the ever loyal assistant to Burns and Burns continuously fails to even acknowledge it most of the time (he even fails to add Smithers to his will but he gave Smithers the 'honor' of being buried next to Burns when Burns died. Did I mention that Smithers didn't need to be dead for that to happen)? some of the best parts are when Burns is completely oblivious to the fact that Smithers is gay and on top of that in love with Burns. "I'm quite happy here, quite gay, why, I'll bet Smithers doesn't even know the meaning of the word gay" However he seems to have obtained some clue as to Smithers' homosexuality as shown in a later season episode where Smithers catches on fire and says to Burns "Mr. Burns I'm flaming!" Prompting Burns to look at the camera with a very "yes yes we all get the joke" type of look on his face. Among the other priceless moments are when Burns is continually shown to be very weak and simple things like lifting a dollar bill tip him over. Also I love whenever references to his age are made. For example, Lisa finds an old diary from the early 1860s and it mentions a Mr. Burns and Burns says "I haven't heard my father's name in years" or when Smithers tells him that the employees are fighting like Iran and Iraq and Burns looks at him blankly and Smithers changes it to 'Persia and Mesopotamia"
"Smithers who is this man who's rambling on about us?"
"that's Lord Naseby sir one of the brightest film minds of his generation"
"Naseby 'eh? I tire of him, release the hounds"
*Dogs barking*
"Hounds released sir"

#9. Marjorie "Marge" Simpson nee Bouvier

Well I finally got to an actual Simpson finally. Marge is the epitome of caring wife and mother. Her job in the Simpsons family is the hardest of all. Taking care of that bunch would have to be. She has to take care of her kids, deal with Homer and all of his antics and keep the peace between Homer and her sisters Patty and Selma. She's pretty much a stereotypical Sitcom mother. Except for the fact that she's a Simpson. Despite everything that she has to do she manages to keep her sanity intact (kind of...most of the time) which is impressive. Her attempts to keep everything under control are impressive. She's a lot of fun to watch.

"Mr. Naseby? I washed your dishes, made lunch for you for tomorrow, cleaned your car, edited your blog up to this point and I HOMER STOP USING THE CAT AS A TENNIS RACKET BART GET YOUR SISTER'S SAXOPHONE OUT OF THE OVEN AND APOLOGIZE LISA CAN YOU GET THE DOG OUT OF THE TV MAGGIE PUT THAT SHOTGUN DOWN WHY DO WE HAVE A SHOTGUN?"
"STOP IT ALL OF YOU CAN'T WE ALL RELAX FOR JUST ONE MINUTE!" *sigh* we're going to Krusty Burger I don't wanna cook tonight"
*Family drives away*
"...when did I get a car?"

#8. Homer Jay Simpson
The protagonist of the show comes in at #8. I think what I like  Homer most is when he is interacting with Bart. He rarely calls Bart by his name instead simply calling him 'boy'. Then of course there are the times when he strangles Bart. While I don't support child abuse in this case it is hilarious. Of course, nothing beats his catrfease..I mean catchfrase... I mean... DO'H!" I also love it when he imagines what a character is saying usually literally then his mind wanders a bit more. For instance, if I said "I'm gonna go Ice Fishing" He would imagine me fishing for fish made of ice before he imagined the ice fish taking over South Central California. Ice fish taking over California is impossible for several reasons but there you go. But for all of his faults, he tries. He really does try. He often fails and makes things worse but his family still loves him at the end of the day and that has made for some superb episodes.

"...So wait...why couldn't the Ice fish take over California?"
"Uh Homer, California gets really really hot and the ice fish would melt"
"Maybe...But maybe they could use ENVIROSUITS!!!"
"That and Ice fish aren't real."

#7. Bartholomew "Bart" Jojo Simpson
Bart is the kid that despite ourselves, we wish we could all be. Even for a brief moment. He's cool, his actions rarely have any major consequences, he pretty much runs the school as he has a lot of control over Skinner. His "eat my shorts" attitude is one that we all love. We all have a little Bart Simpson in us. Of all of the characters he is probably my favorite to see getting into extreme situations particularly when Sideshow Bob is involved. Plus, I absolutely love all of the chalkboard stuff at the beginning. Classic stuff.

"Hey Bart, I'm gonna go get a drink and maybe check my mail, would you wait here and make sure that no one messes with my blog"
"Sure man"
"Now that he's gone what should I write? Maybe I should call Milhouse and ask him. naah. he never has any good ideas"

"Alright I'm back thanks for HEY WAIT WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?!"
*Bart Laughs*

#6. Robert Underdunk "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger
Pretty much the best villain on the show. Period. His increasing attempts to kill Bart (later extended to the whole Simpson family but mainly Bart still) Get more elaborate and creative with each episode to the point where his whole family gets involved. His bother is named Cecil
His father is Robert
His mother is Judith
His wife is Francesca
His son is Gino (his son has a habit of pulling out butcher knives and yelling Vendetta! Vendetta! in regards to the Simpsons).
However, even though his plans are elaborate and each is grander than the last, he is continuously foiled by Bart and/or Lisa, or even himself with his evil genius ego. He is the best villain in Springfield. Plus his Palm Tree hair is hilarious.

'Excuse me good sir, would you mind suggesting to me a suitable catapult capable of launching a 50 pound payload of explosives upon a small 10 year old boy?"
"uuh, I wouldn't know anything about that, I'm not a weapons guy I'm a movie guy. But be careful, as Shakespeare said, "he who lives by the sword dies by the sword"
"OH that wasn't Shakespeare you blathering MORON!!! Why is everyone around me a total idiot!!"
"...I'm gonna go over here now"

#5. Reverend Timothy Lovejoy
Ya know, he just doesn't care. He did at one point but he just doesn't anymore. I like how he tries to get everyone else to care but really he is annoyed with them all particularly Flanders. He specializes in fire and Brimstone sermons and manages to make them sound boring. While I sometimes disagree with his theology "you know Ned have you tried any of the other major religions they're all pretty much the same" He is still interesting. I also highly enjoy it when he is shown in his basement playing with his toy trains with his cleric uniform on and a conductors hat. it's just hilarious. My favorite trait of his has got to be how he over-enunciates the last letter of most of his sentences.

"And so Mr. Naseby, Jesuzzuh ascended into the clouds after he died to forgive us or our sinzzuh."
"Yeah I know"
"Now I must go. Helen is in the car waiting and I want to play with my trains before dinnerruh."

#4. Lisa Marie Simpson
Lisa is easily the most sane member of the Simpsons family even more so than Marge at times. She is very into nature and saving the animals/vegetarian stuff. She is also the one with the strongest set of morals in the family. She is probably the most relateable member of the family.  We all know a Lisa. It is really interesting to see when she clashes with the rest of the family and I'm not just talking Bart (although those are often the most priceless moments of the show particularly one episode where Bart was driving a pedal car and Lisa was riding shotgun and they were acting like the stereotypical husband/wife 'husband's lost but he won't ask for directions' kind of thing). What I'm talking about is when she drastically opposes them such as when she converts to Buddhism. (she isn't the only family member to pull away form Rev. Lovejoy's church. Bart and Homer are Catholic leaving only Maggie and Marge as real members). I also highly enjoy how she is the (often ignored) voice of reason for the whole town and most of the lessons the town learns are from her.

"Mr. Naseby why are you eating that burger? Don't you know what they do to those poor cows? You can survive perfectly well eating only fruits and vegetables"
"Well a nice juicy burger with cheese, lettuce and pickles is one of my favorite foods! I love it!"
"here's a video showing what they do to those poor helpless animals"
*watch the video*
"Crap whay did you show me that? I can never look at a burger the same way again"
*with a sly smile* "You could have avoided all of this if you had just bought some band candy in the first place"
"No dice"
"Mr. Naseby why are you eating those ribs? Don't you know what.."
"Okay okay I'll buy some band candy"

#3. Professor John Nerdelboum Frink
Professor Frink is just an oddball. His odd nonsensical random spurts of gibberish never fail to amuse me. Also, his strange inventions (that are especially excellent in the non-canon no holds barred Treehouse of Horror episodes) which have odd applications are really fun to see. frankly he's just plain mad. There is no other way to put it he's a total mad scientist. His inventions usually don't work, aren't given much attention, or backfire horribly. He's one of the best characters I've seen on TV period.

"So Mr. Naseby I'd like to present to you my latest invention it's a FIIIlm that CHAAANgees every time you watch it it would have particular effeeeectiveness in horror with the HOYVIN-GLAVIN and the MONSTERS popping out of a new corner each time with the GLAYVIN and the box office receipts"

"...I don't even know if that was a sentence much less what he said"

#2. William "Groundskeeper Willie" McDougal
From attempting to make the school look nice despite the antics of the kids, to substituting for a French teacher wearing a stereotypical french outfit and a beret famously quiping "BONJUUURRRR Ya cheese eatin' surrender monkeys" to contested stories about where he is from and what his past was like "I was in a mine collapse and no one made it out alive NOT EVEN WILLIE!!" His best moments are pretty much whenever he is on screen. Washing, observing everything, fighting Bart, working with Skinner it is all absolutely hilarious. He just barely missed out on the top spot frankly.

'So you're called Nasebeh, tha's an AINGLISH Neem. I HAATE the Ainglish."
"Uh yes it is an English name. it's one of the spots where Cromwell beat the Roundheads, but it's just a pen name really."
"Alrright, But Willie will be watchin' ya!"

And finally, the moment you have all been waiting for My #1 favorite Simpsons character is!!!

Be patient it's coming

Almost there

Jeez even I'm getting impatient

#1 is

Margaret "Maggie" Simpson
She never really talks (out side of a few occasions and then her words have only been said one time: Ja, Daddy, and Daddily Doodly)
One of the things that I like most about Maggie is that she is incredibly aware of everything that goes on around her. To the point where she can imitate it sometimes. Being a baby there's not much else she can do but observe. There are times where she acts like a baby but there are other times when she acts like an adult. But the thing that I probably like most of all about Maggie is her kind of violent nature. She's not like a homicidal baby or anything but she will readily defend herself if she needs to (case and point, the Simpsons movie. Krusty tells Mr. Teeny to "take out the baby" and he smashes her bottle on the stairs to make a weapon out of it) Plus she seems to own a variety of guns including (but more than likely not limited to) a rifle she hides in her crib, and a double barreled shotgun that she points at Mr. Burns during a Season 22 episode. she knows how to use the guns too. She is an excellent marksman. she sniped mobsters (non fatally) in rapid succession from her room. And that, is why she is my favorite Simpson character.

"So Maggie, you have guns then?"
*sucks on pacifier pulls rifle out of crib, shotgun out of closet, unzips the back of one of her stuffed animals and pulls out a 44 Magnum, reaches under dresser and pulls out dual Desert Eagles.*
"...wow. I'm not really sure what to say, are you sure a baby should be carrying guns?"
*Maggie looks mad and points Desert Eagles*
"Okay okay just asking"
*Maggie smiles and claps cooing happily*

Well there you go. Those are my 15 favorite Simpsons characters. Surprised? Angry? Indifferent? Indignant? Eeh who cares Smithers! release the hounds!!

Yes, that's what I meant Smithers. That's totally what I meant.


  1. Great list, Naseby. I highly like these characters. You should've put Sideshow Bob higher on the list not only because of his characters where his dastardly plans to kill Bart is always spoiled, but because it is voiced by Kelsey Grammar the dude from Frasier. Grammar had made the character so evil, but at the same time you want to applaud him.

    I'd always like the Flanders and the Reverend because they're not preachy however with Flanders, he seems to be exagerrated at all times like he's an overbearing father.

    But anyway it's a wonderful list

  2. Thanks! yeah, it was hard picking the top 15 much harder to organize them. Thanks!

  3. I like it! Except not #1. Flanders or Sperintendant Chalmers should be #1. One of my favorite shows.

  4. Well Maggie is just one of my favorites. anyway, Flanders and Chalmers made the list.

  5. sorry, by one of my favorites I mean my total favorite.