My review of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Well, this film is undoubtedly better than Episode I....Anything would have to be to be honest. Having said that (and once again RedLetterMedia opened my eyes and I discovered that this film was worse than I originally thought). So, here it goes.

Acting/Characters: Well, on the plus side, there aren't any children main characters and Jar Jar is toned down considerably. But until they remake the Phantom Menace and kill him violently the first time I we see him on screen, I can't forgive Lucas for the character's existence. And honestly, Lucas seemed to upgrade the characters a bit. Yep, each character got one new facial expression and/or emotion each: Anakin got arrogant and pissed off so he got two...lucky him, Obi-wan got irritated, and Padme got a smile. great. Good going there George. I mean, I can't say that the actors in this film are bad. Ewan McGregor and Natalie Portman have gone on to do some really quality stuff (can't say 100% for sure about Hayden Christensen.). But they all come across as generally emotionless and flat. I'll get to why later. Although, I will say that I highly enjoyed Christopher Lee in this film. He had the most life to him. 3/10

Plot: RedLetterMedia goes into great detail as to why this plot is just as stupid (if not in some areas more so) as the plot of Phantom Menace. He's totally right. I'll be honest, it might not be the best that I get my ideas from RLM, but I can in no way deny what he says. But, the plot is just as stupid and nonsensical as the one for #1. I don't like to do this, but I feel that he says it much better than I ever could. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA
Sorry I deferred to someone else there. 1/10


Screenplay: Well, I shall now explain why it is not the actors fault that they suck so much in the movie. The actors could probably ad-lib better lines by themselves....drunk. But, since George has 100% control on these films and no one is gonna question the man who created pretty much the best sci-fi saga in history. I mean, Star Wars is the 2nd highest grossing film of all time. I guess that went to his head and he wrote some dumb lines to go along with his weak story to go along with his prominent special effects. It wasn't as bad as a lot of the dialogue for Episode I, but it was still stupid and a lot of it made no sense. 2/10

Likableness: Well, it was still visually pleasing like all of them, but it seemed to be too sterile and the set had no life to it. The fight scenes were good. It was like #1, visually pleasing with a few good bits here and there, but it was ultimately disappointing. 3/10

Final Score: 9/40 22% (S)


TRIVIA TIME: 1. Actors auditioning for the part of Anakin included Ryan Phillippe, Paul Walker, Colin Hanks and Jonathan Brandis. In the end Hayden Christensen got the part, primarily because he and Natalie Portman "looked good together".

2. This was the first film to have an "on-location" film shown once a week to document the shooting process. After the success of this feature, other films adopted the same process.

3. The librarian at the Jedi Archives (The Jedi Archives are modeled on the Trinity College library in Dublin, Ireland) says "If an item doesn't appear in our records, it does not exist!" This is a variation of the slogan of the Pacific Bell Yellow Pages.

4. In the arena, Senator Amidala's gun makes the distinctive sound of a .44 Magnum, a reference to this sound accidentally being left in the sound mix when Princess Leia shoots over the chasm in the special edition of Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

5. Just before Anakin goes to search for his mother on Tatooine, he has a conversation with Senator Amidala. The camera pans to their shadows as they talk, and Anakin's resembles that of Darth Vader. According to the DVD commentary, the Vader-like shadow that Anakin casts was not a special effect but a coincidence.

6. The Separatist Droid army is made up of Trade Federation Battle Droids and Droidekas first seen in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace as well as the introduction of rapid-firing Super Battle Droids. The large Homing Spider Droids and the Dwarf Spider Droids belong to the Commerce Guild, while the missile-firing Hailfire Battle Droids belong to the IG Banking Clan.

7. The character Aayla Secura, played by Amy Allen, was not created by George Lucas. Aayla Secura first appeared in the nineteenth issue of Dark Horse Comics' "Star Wars: Republic" series (part one of "Star Wars: Twilight"). Lucas was so impressed with the character that he decided to have her in the film.

8. Jar Jar Binks, standing in for Senator Amidala, puts forth the motion that gives Palpatine supreme powers. This means that Jar Jar, the most hated character in the Star Wars canon, is indirectly responsible for the fall of the Old Republic and the near-annihilation of the Jedi order. Due to much of the animosity aimed towards Jar-Jar Binks in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, the working title of Episode II was "Jar-Jar's Big Adventure".

9. Most of the clone troopers wear plain white armor; some of the more senior troops' armor has added colored trim on the helmet and arms. The colors denote rank as follows: Green = sergeants, Blue = lieutenants, Red = captains, Yellow = commanders (the Jedi serve as the Clones' generals). Note that pilots also wear yellow trim, but their armor design differs from other Clones.

10. The death-sticks that the pusher tries to sell Obi-Wan were a hallucinogenic drug. With each dose, the user's life was shortened, and the successive dosages took away larger chunks from their lifespan. With each successive dose, the desire for a harder reaction increased.

Bet you think attacking an army of Battle Droids who had you surrounded from minute one was a bad idea now.