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Monday, July 18, 2011

My review of Puppet Master

I'm not sure what this film was going for, but boy did it fail...unless it was going for boredom.

Acting/characters: zzzzzz...zzzzzzz....zzzz. Can anyone say boring? everyone in the film was blank and I got the feeling that the actors hardly cared about being in the film at all. They only had two expressions to work with. Three at most. As for the puppets, if you thought people were inept around Chucky these people are worse. These murderous puppets are half the size of Chucky and people are still inept at escaping. The only puppet that I can see being a problem for anyone is Blade. I mean, he has a knife for an arm so that's okay (he's the best character in the film anyway). The characters are flat and inept and that never makes for interesting characters. .5/10

Plot: It could have worked. It had some decent potential but it just didn't. No one working on the film seemed to care at all about making an exciting film. They didn't even try any scares and this is a horror film! When it started out it looked like it could be interesting. I wondered a bit where it was going. But as the film went on it just got more and more boring and predictable and I cared less and less. They never gave me a reason to care about what was going on so I just decided not to. It had some potential but it ultimately failed completely. 2/10

Screenplay: The funny thing is is that I don't remember a word that anyone said outside of a few minor bits and pieces. It just kind of went in one ear and out the other. I can hardly remember if there was one that's how forgettable it was. I don't know what else to say because I don't remember much. It was that boring and uninteresting. 0/10

Likableness: It had an odd moment where it was interesting and it had minimum potential, but the whole tone of the film was just boring and flat. The characters don't even act like they are in danger at all. Plus, the puppets are so small and weak the whole movie could be solved in minutes by them just kicking the dolls and pulling their heads off. They are sronger than the dolls (except for Blade who would be hard to kill I imagine). It was just a dull film. 1/10

Final Score: 3.5/40 8% (S)
Current Tomatometer rating: 20%
Tomatometer rating if my review was added: 17%

TRIVIA TIME: 1. Inspired by an earlier Charles Band production about killer toys, Dolls.

2. The puppet, Blade, is based on one of David Schmoeller's favorite actors, Klaus Kinski.

3. Originally intended to be released into theaters in the summer of 1989 and onto home video in September 1989, it was then pushed to 12 October 1989 as a direct-to-video release, as producer Charles Band had stated in an interview that he would make more money in the DTV field than he would in the theatrical market.

4. In the finger-slicing scene, the blood was dyed green to avoid an "X" rating.


Klaus Kinski


  1. I always thought the puppets looked bad ass and was surprised when I seen all the films where rotten at RT. I guess I should just stay clear from this film. Brilliantly entertaining review naseby :)

  2. Blade looks bad-ass to be sure. The rest not too much to me. Thanks!