Sunday, December 5, 2010

My review of Slaughter High

Marty majored in
Cutting classmates

Another dumb tagline. A college major joke for a High School film.

I just can't stop can I? I don't know why I feel the need to keep watching these horrible slasher films!Maybe it's the challenge of finding a good slasher beyond the big 3 (Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream) slashers. By the time I'm done, I will be able to give you all a short list of the good ones I have found. But, until then, I have to deal with this nonsense. *shudder* I hate the synthesizer music that plays over and over again every few minutes. And when it isn't, you have sound effects and music that wouldn't be out of place in an old Scooby-Doo cartoon.

Acting/Characters: stereotypes. Overacted stereotypes. Every single syllable of every single line is over-enunciated. It gets annoying very fast. But you know something? I think I finally figured it out, we don't care that people in these movies die because they are all so stupid that they deserve to die. It is almost a kind of natural selection. So in a way, the killers in movies like this are the true heroes for riding the human population of retards like the teens in slasher films. I dunno, maybe I'm just being heartless. But the characters in the film are brainless so it all works out. Usually the killer has somewhat of a brain, which is what allows him to successfully kill people, but not in this movie. If any of the characters had a brain, the events of the film wouldn't have happened. Also, my biggest beef with the film has to be that all of the kills are impossible. well, almost all of them. there was one of them that could have easily happened. But the rest of them are impossible in one way or another. It was ridiculous. 0/10

Plot: so. many. plot. holes. I don't get it. How can a human being be so stupid? I mean, these kids have a lower IQ than any other group of kids in any other slasher film that I have ever seen. That is saying something. Every event in the film could have been avoided if the characters had just done one thing differently. And you will know full well what that is if you are ever forced at gunpoint to see this. I just don't get it. Then they tried to have a "twist" ending that completely failed. Basically, the filmmakers looked at the film and said to themselves, we have already thrown in every single possible thing to make this movie bad, what can we do to make it worse? there has to be something!" well, they found it. The ending...oh the ending hurt my head. A lot. I have now seen every dumb trick that they can throw at me. At least, I hope so. Again, once you are held at gunpoint and forced to watch this, you will understand. I know that some may argue that this film just didn't try to take itself seriously, that might be true but it hid it well if that was the case. i thought that this movie was trying very hard to be the next Halloween. Maybe I just don't get Cult Classics.

Screenplay: Like I said before, every single syllable of every single line was overacted and over-enunciated. EVERY LAST ONE!!! The directors told the actors "we know the screenplay is the worst ever, so make it worse. Come on we're going for the record here: all the Razzies". it shows. 0/10

Likableness: Maybe I'm just taking this movie too seriously or i don't understand films like this, but this is truly one of the worst films I have ever seen and I would gladly add it to any list saying so. I would pick Sleepaway Camp again over this (although, Sleepaway Camp had such a rocking ending that it is an incredibly easy choice). But I would do Sleepaway Camp without the ending. It was that bad. 0/10

Final Score: 0/40 0% (H)

TRIVIA TIME: 1. Simon Scuddamore, who plays the film's slasher, committed suicide shortly after production of the film.

2. The films working title was "April Fool's Day", however the title was changed to keep this film from being confused with the Paramount film April Fool's Day which was released the same year.

3. Star Caroline Munro was actually 36 years old during this film where she played a 'teenage' heroine.

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